Bad to the Bone

Oh, Did You Pick The Wrong Day...

PUBLIC NOTICE:

I'm not interested in a fight. I'm too damn tired to fight you, I'm too heartsick to fight you, I'm alone in an ugly gray meaningless world and I have no desire to bicker with you. Please have the decency to back off of your own accord.

Soundtrack for this Entry: "Leave Me Alone" by Michael Jackson

Turn Around and Walk Away...

The Stars Have It In For Me Today

Everything is coming up nasty for me, particularly in dreams. Horoscopes usually lie, but my dreams never do. A rabid dog, a sick child in need of help, and a driving desire to wash my hands, compounded by an irate, whiny girly-girl who demanded my attention and looked just like Whitney Splitter from my highschool volunteer group. Two words, people: not good.

Actually everything has come up saying: don't repeat what you hear, don't repeat what you hear, keep your mouth SHUT, you dratted Capricorn, you!

*Screams at the calendar* Since when am I a gossip, thank you very much?

Blah, I'll just have to be extra-careful.

Chinese calendar says: "Your ego has blinded you to how you treat your friends." Which is pretty true, I suppose. I do tend to walk around with blinders on. *Crashes into a wall* See? ;^) Oh, I know what this is about. I think. Possibly Stevie. I did kinda/sorta hang up on him a few days ago--his computer kicked him offline, and when I had to leave an hour later, he still wasn't online. That might count as a snub. :^(

Sorry, Stevie. :,^(

Dratted horoscopes >=^P

More. Now. Again.

Listen As The Rain Cuts Grooves In Your Back

It's raining, been raining raining raining all day long. And it's cold. And

All the leaves are brown,
And the sky is gray...

Heh. I love the harmonies in that song :^)

Dark primal things are crawling around in my head; every now and then I get the urge to be really really "evil" or whatever, secretive mercury-toned wings like the wings of a mantis, bitter and cutting, unfolding from my darkened, sharpened spine. (That of course being a figurative image and having nothing whatsoever to do with real life.) At such times I listen to metal-music, bite my nails and crave tomato juice. Yeah, tomato juice. V-8 actually. Everybody thinx it's rank but I don't get why, it's the swellest. And if you're lucky enough to get it in aluminum cans instead of glass bottles, it has a steely taste, which I love.

Seriously, I get cravings for the taste of various metals. I'm most familiar with copper. Very bitter, acrid is a better word. You want to spit it out, but if you can just wait for it, the aftertaste is gorgeous, sweeter and stronger than you get from steel surfaces...Still, not recommended for the initiate. If you really want to learn, my young apprentice, you'll start with paperclips. ;^)

It's a by-product of a certain monthly *ahem* "iron deficiency". I'm just weirder about it than most. Such is the story of my life, though ;^) And did I mention that iron-pills are nasty? Disgusting vitamin-supplements :^P All sulphur-y. Not at all good. Entirely unlike real iron. In a word: bleh. I take them anyway, though; getting anemia would suck more than taking vitamins, thank you very much :^P

I'm weird about scents, too. I'm the only person I know that enjoys gasoline and ladies' Poison smelled in tandem. Fortunately it's not your typical gas-station combo ;^) And I happen to like the scent of nail-polish remover. And linen in sunlight. And fresh-mowed grass. And roses...

That's what I miss most about arcades, actually: the way they smelled. The air had a kind of stale, litterally electric quality to it; it hummed with ozone. There was the faint memory of food, or maybe soda, or cigarettes, or all three; in ancient times, before the 90's, food and the like were generally allowed in arcades and most arcades hold the echoes of those smells, buried under yes, human sweat. Mostly male sweat. Adrenaline-flavored male sweat...Err, moving on before that line of thought goes past the PG-13 rating...

I also like the smell of glue. And White-Out. And other things you're not supposed to smell. RELAX, you. I don't inhale them or anything. That's for morons with a death wish. I just notice and appreciate them, where other people dismiss them as "yucky". Or worse, go out of their way to avoid them. There's actually a brand of "floral scent" nail-polish remover out there. (It smells like denture-cleaner and/or pet-stain remover =^P I would never put that, that noxious stuff on my hands.) Sacrilege! SACRILEGE, I TELL YOU!!!

Oh fine. Wretched Marketing Establishment. Go ahead, destroy the one thing I really love about makeup. =^P

Well, besides creating scary tattoo-type filagrees on my face and arms with, say, eyeliner. Not that I've done that in ages, but I'd like to again. Maybe tommorow...

Told you I was in a weird, evil mood ;^P

~Jheti the Thoroughly Lonely

Soundtrack for This Entry: "Body Hammer" by Fear Factory

Shock of My Life

And More Than One of Them

1) A pair I thought were friends forever have split up

2) There's an imood user out there calling herself "Tenneil". As in Tenneil Province, Outworld, origin-point for my continuity's Mileena...*cue creepy music*

More about my insane day as it happens, it's only 5 AM at present...

Mood Music

Or, "Don't Stand So Close To Me"

There's something inside me that pulls beneath the surface, consuming, confusing
This lack of self-control I fear, is neverending
Controlling, I can't seem
To find myself again
My walls are closing in...

Or how about this:

Lose myself without you so who the hell am I?

One of those quotes above is from a Stabbing Westward song. You get three guesses, and the first nine don't count. ;^P

What are those? Just what they seem. And background for "The Shadows and the Shards", as well. I finally got around to hammering out the bones of the beginning of Part II, and things are going hideously. I know how it should go, but not how to get there, what they should say, but not when, and why it has to work this way, but not what to do about it. Meaning: I'm not exactly stuck, but it's not all coming up roses either.

I did finally get the whole dream-and-dialogue sequence to work, though. (It took eight weeks, not counting the time I took drafting all the other stuff.) WTF am I talking about, right? You'll see. Or not. Depends on how much of a Mileena fan you are...

I've been thinking about it, messing around with what the rating might be, when it's done. So far it's been an accelerated PG-13; it's not so much that it's graphically violent, or anything, just--I dunno. Mileena, being both a mutant and the focal character, sees a world painted in shades of blood...it's in her imagery, her thoughts, her dreams, and her dialogue (not to mention her food). It's pervasive. Sort of there in the background, constantly.

I wonder how things will go between her and Baraka...assuming she can get him to believe she is who she says she is, which is no small feat, there then follows the question of whether or not they matter to each other as things stand now. Of course they should, but there again, my characters have never done what they should, or at least, not when I "told" them to ;^) As they say: "This could get messy, folks." And not in the usual perverted sense that you think I said it. Sheez, get your mind out of the gutter. ;^p

Actually, he notices her first, which may or may not impact her plans. I do have solid this one bit around which I will build what happens next: "Further orders arrived for me by Hellhound this morning, in the hours just before dawn." A Hellhound, btw, is Shinnok's demonic equivalent of a messenger pigeon. It is NOT an original character :^P

I'm assuming that her orders must be something contrary to what she as a character wants. Probably not anything as blatant as killing Baraka, particularly not when
A) He's already killed her first, making this an ineffective way to ratchet up the tension and/or plot and
B) The whole pretext for sending Mileena to the Outworld in the first place is that she's supposed to make nice with the guy.
So it wouldn't hold water there, either. I'd imagine it has something to do with betraying his confidence (provided she can gain it in the first place) ...

Did I mention he's got another girl? Sort of. The shaman's apprentice, Brin, is his aide now. It's no more than that, but it could be made to look like it, in the right circumstances...*rubbing hands together evilly* ehehehehehehehehehe...

Of course, the characters may "decide" that they don't like any of that, and get all uppity with me, and my best laid plans will come tumbling down...

I miss Jaz. There's a week and some to go until she returns, from what I understand. Blast it all, girl! I know he's special, but I miss you anyway :^(
Tell him I said Hi :^) Nice fella, but a man of few words...Who is he? I'll let her tell you that, provided she wants to :^) Not my job, or my place.

Happy seventeenth, Nyohah. Tenchi's got you beat for the "youngest on the board" prize, but not by much ;^) You go, girl! :^)

*Blinks at what she just typed* EEEEEEEEEK! A TRENDY STATEMENT! *Washes mouth out with soap and scouring powder* I jhuft can'f helb myselb...BLEH. *Grins in embarrassment*.

Anyway, besides that, someone I know sent me a cryptic e-mail, saying they "need to talk to me", with no references to what it is they need to talk about. Hope they're alright...

Ehh, that's it for me this afternoon. Go stare at someone else's private life ;^)

~Jheti (That Stranger In The Mirror)

Soundtrack for This Entry: "Sledgehammer" by Peter Gabriel