Longest Survey Ever

No, Really, I Mean It

Time started ? 3:39 pm
~You Stuff~
001. What is your name? piss off
002. Spell your name backwards. no, really, PISS OFF.
003. Date of birth: Jan. 4
004. Male or female? Female
005. Astrological sign: Capricorn
006. Nicknames: Slayer, Jheti, 'Leena (for the totally ignorant this is short for Mileena, as in Mortal Kombat)
007. Occupation: Freeloader
008. Height: 5'2"
009. Weight: heavy enough
010. Hair color: brown
011. Eye color: gold
012. Where were you born? California
013. Where do you reside now? Florida
014. Age: 20
015. Screen names: Lots.
016. E-mail addy: spam bots= BAD.
017. What does your screen name stand for? My primary one is named for an original character. .
018. What is your LJ name? don't have an LJ. Have a crazylife.
019. What does your LJ name stand for? crazylife = my Kazaa handle. Ph34r my filesharing might!
020. Pets: cat (Kitana), fish (Bitsuko)
021. Number of candles you blew out on your last birthday cake? I don't like candles on my cake, it makes holes in it. *Sulk*.
022. Piercings? Wounds in my earlobes.
023. Tattoo's? None
024. Shoe size: 8 1/2 wide
025. Righty or lefty? Lefty
026. Wearing: shirt, bra, jeans, socks. I'm such a total fashion plate >^P
027. Hearing: punk band cover of "99 Red Balloons".
028. Feeling: lonely
029. Eating/drinking: nothing. There's nothing appetizing in the whole house

~Guys/Love/Kissing/And Other Stuff~
061. Have you ever been in love? Yes
062. How many people have you said "I love you" to? None of my boyfriends, ironically enough.
063. How many people have you been in love with? also none of my boyfriends...which is disturbing
064. How many people have you kissed? With tongue? Two.
065. Have you ever kissed someone of the same sex? She kissed me. It was repulsive.
066. How many people have you dated? 4
067. What do you look for in a guy/girl? I got tired of looking.
068. What's the first thing you notice about the opposite sex? really, I got tired of looking.
069. What type of guy/girl do you usually go for? I don't. I'm burned out on love. Piss off.
073. Do you have a crush right now? I lust for Hugo Weaving. The rest of you don't have a prayer.
074. If so who is it? I kind of just told you.
075. Do you believe in love at first sight? No.
076. Do you remember your first love? I lusted, I caved in to pressure, I beat the fucking crap out of one, and I pitied another, but I did not love.
077. Who is the first person you kissed? my babysitter. WOW was he surprised. And he was tasty >^D
078. Do you believe in fate? D'hete is a cruel mistress.
079. Do you believe in soul mates? Nice theory but no evolution.
080. If so do you believe you'll ever find yours? You really can't read between the lines can you?

~Family Stuff~
104. How many siblings do you have? One.
105. What are your parents names? Mom and Dad
106. What are your siblings names? Tenchi
107. How many siblings does your mother have? One
108. How many siblings does your father have? Three
109. Where are your parents from? current set are both Florida natives
110. Is your family close? my immediate family is, frequently stiflingly so.
111. Does your family get together for holidays? Sometimes.
112. Do you have a drunk uncle? How incredibly rude.
113. Any medical problems run through your family? ALCOHOLISM. Yay! And manic depression.
114. Does someone in your family wear a toupee? Hahahahaha
115. Do you have any nieces or nephews? Some. Don't feel like counting atm.
116. Are your parents divorced? YES WOO HOOOOO THANK GOD I mean umm, yeah.
117. Do you have step parents? Yes *^_^*
118. Has your family ever disowned another member of your family? most of my mother's family is dead. My biological father has probably written me out of the will.
120. Did some of your family come to America from another country? Hehehee Deutschland.

~Music Stuff~
121. What song do you swear was written about you or your life? "Didn't I?" by Carly Simon
122. What's the most embarrasing cd you own? Several Backstreet Boys albums, and some Aqua
123. What's the best cd you own? All of them, or I wouldn't own them, dumbass.
124. What song do you absolutely hate? ALL SMOOTH JAZZ AAAAAAH! DIE KENNY G DIE DIE!
125. Do you sing in the shower? *Wailing along to Evanescence*. Oh, you mean I have to be in the shower first?
126. What song reminds you of that special someone? Oh right.

~Okay, I Name An Artist And You Give A Lyric From Any One Of Their Songs!~
127. Pink: "don't let me get me!"
128. Aerosmith: "it's kink but you don't ever tell her"
129. Madonna: "I'm not your bitch don't hang your shit on me"
130. Korn: "It's all falling, falling away from me"
131. Backstreet Boys: "baby, please try to forgive me"
132. The Beatles: "I wanna hold your hand"
133. Sublime: ??
134. J.Lo: "think I'm gonna spend your cash, I won't"
135. *Nsync: "if you want to take a ride, then strap on a suit and get inside" >^D
136. Limp Bizkit: "hot mammas, pimp daddies, and everybody all over the world"
137. Britney Spears: "baby thinking of you keeps me up all night"
138. Creed: "I hope he's not like me, I hope he understands"
139. Enrique Iglesias: ??
140. Good Charlotte: "well they got mansions, I think we should rob them."
141. Christina Aguilera: "you gotta rub me the right way."
142. Eminem: "but it's just me, I'm just obscene."
144. Kelly Clarkston: ??
145. Kelly Osbourne: "I'm wearing a colorblind skunk on my head. Honest."
146. Mandy Moore: *blink* you mean that's not a brand of paint?
147. Eve: ??
148. Aaliyah: "promise me, I get you back in one piece"
149. Nelly: "so take off all your clothes"
150. Alicia Keys: "give me so much pleasure, cause me so much pain"
151. Incubus: ??

~Favorites~
152. Color: purple and red
153. Food: MEAT
154. Song: too many
155. Show: nothing right now. I'm "off" TV for the moment.
156. School subject: English
157. Band/singer: Splashdown
158. Animal: I need a new favorite, actually...
159. Outfit: that's kind of shallow
160. Radio station: 95.3 Party
161. Movie: Ghostbusters
162. Pair of shoes: MINE
163. Cartoon: ever? Now that's not fair!
164. Actor: nope
165. Actress: nope
166. Potato chip: FINALLY a good question! Barbecue Fritos
167. Drink: rum and coke
169. Holiday: Halloween
170. Perfume/cologne: none
171. Pizza topping: supreme. What's that? Like, everything?
172. Jello flavor: *Runs away gibbering in terror*
173. Lunch meat: bologna. Aren't I just tasteless? >^D
174. Card Game: ??
175. Video game: Mortal Kombat II
176. Website: hahahahaha no
177. Book: that's not fair
178. Computer game: haven't played much for the last four years, really.
179. Number: 9
180. Cereal: Cinnamon Life. (And, since Brin is now jabbing my elbow, Golden Grahams.)
181. Comedian: Ellen DeGeneres. See that note a few questions back about tasteless? >^D
182. Dessert: Red Velvet Cake. *Dies*
183. Disney character: Belle
184. Clothing store: that's shallow
185. Past time: fanfic. No, actually, that's about it.
186. Teacher: NO MORE SCHOOL *does a jig.*
187. Childhood toy: My Little Ponies *^_^*
188. Carnival game/ride: rollercoaster. Or, failing this, the fastest thing in the park.
189. Candy bar: Nutrageous. *giggle*
190. Magazine: Wizard
191. Salad dressing: I don't like salad.
192. Thing to do on the weekend: drink. Not much. Just enough to deal with my week.
193. Hot drink: Chai. Or cocoa.
194. Season: any. They're all kind of the same in Florida.
195. Sport to watch: eeew sports
196. Person to talk to online: *COUGH*

~Your Bedroom/Sleeping Habits~
197. What color are your sheets? blue floral
198. What color are your bedroom walls? Grayish. I think they were originally white.
199. Do you have posters on your wall? Whee, yes.
200. If so of what? Captain EO, Belle, Harry Potter, Fathom, Lord of the Rings, The Animatrix, Undercover Brother, the Wheel of Time worldmap, and a pair of colorful Lucite seahorse-hangings
201. Do you have a tv in your bedroom? why would I?
202. How many pillows are on your bed? five
203. What do you normally sleep in? pyjamas
204. Describe your favorite pair of pajamas: pretty, feel nice, that's about it.
205. What size bed do you have? QUEEN. All bow down, baby.
206. Do you have a waterbed/bunkbed/daybed? *sniff of derision.* I should think not.
207. Do you have your own phone line in your bedroom? No.
209. Describe the last nightmare you had: my face being eaten by a rather large spider no one else could see.
210. Do you sleep with stuffed animals? of course *^_^*
211. How many people can comfortably sleep comfortably in your bed: ME >^F *defends her bed* go away!
212. Do you sleep in any unusual positions? show me yours I'll show you...ohh, you meant for sleeping >^D
213. Do you have to share your bedroom with a sibling? No
214. Do you snore? Kinda. I do this buzz-murmur thing, I'm told, but it's really quiet.
215. How about drool? Not me.
216. Do you have an alarm clock in your room? no
217. What color is the carpet in your room? dirt-colored. It was once tan, back in 1978
218. What's under your bed? dirty book, dirty magazines, clothes, misc. crap, and one lone Barbie doll

~This or that~
219. loser/wannabe: a wannabe loser >^D
220. Doughnuts/bagels: doughnuts
221. Day/night: night
222. Wicked witch of the east/wicked witch of the west: I AM THE WICKEDEST. PH34R ME.
223. Heaven/hell: heaven
224. Make love/have sex: no, stupid, you spell it like this: FUCK.
225. Coffee/tea: Coffee
226. Hamburgers/hotdogs: burgers
227. Rap/rock: rap
228. Britney/Christina: *kills them both*
229. Swiss cheese/american cheese: SVISS >^D
230. Real World/Road Rules: see, this is why I don't watch television.
231. Backstreet Boys/*Nsync: BSB
232. Silver/gold: silver
233. Nike/Adidas: Sketchers *runs away*
234. McDonalds/Taco Bell: Taco Bell
235. Sweet/sour: SALTY
236. Punk/emo: vintage punk, not this skate-rock bullshit
237. Hot/cold: cold
238. Winter/summer: winter
239. Spring/fall: autumn
240. Operas/plays: I've seen plays
241. Read/watch tv: use computer
242. Cd's/tapes: MP3's
243. Dvd's/vhs: Betamax, bitch!
244. Old/new: 80's
245. Shorts/skirts: shorts
246. Pink/red: red
247. Colored pictures/black and white photos: sepia tone
248. Meat/vegetables: MEAT
249. Mexican food/chinese food: texmex
250. Commercials/infomercials: commercials
251. Scary movies/comedies: comedies
252. Bikinis/one piece bathing suits: one piece
253. Sandals/tennis shoes: tennis shoes
254. Dogs/cats: both
255. Unicorns/fairies: unicorns
256. Water/land: ocean
257. Sugar/spice: sugar
258. Black/white: red
259. ribbons/bows: ribbon
260. Chicken/beef: beef
261. Colored christmas lights/regular white christmas lights: coloured.
262. Cars/trucks: cars
263. Austin Powers/James Bond: Bond. James Bond.
264. Popcorn/pretzels: popcorn
265. Hip/hop: hip hip a hoppin' you don't stop a rockin' to the bang bang boogie >^D
266. Passionate kiss/peck: TOUNGE! *Licks lips*
267. WWE wrestling/ real wrestling: eeeeeeeeeeeeeewwwwww wrestling >^P
268. Back rub/foot massage: Back rub, eheheheheehehe >^D
269. Picture frames/photo albums: aren't they kinda the same thing?
270. Pens/pencils: blue pens

~What Is Your Opinion Of The Following~
271. Eminem: COOL! Uh, I mean he sucks. (No, he's cool. Shut up.)
272. Virgins: I am one
273. God: He leaves me alone, I leave Him alone, and that way no one gets hurt >^D
274. The Osbournes: who cares?
275. Reality TV: who cares?
276. J.Lo: who cares? (are we sensing a general pattern of apathy yet?)
277. Religion: see description at "God".
278. Emo music: Whee ^_^
279. Valentine's Day: it's good for breaking up with people
280. Christina Aguilera's comeback: *SNORE*
281. Homosexuals: just don't hit on me, and you're good.
282. Abortion: go for it, knock yourself out, I'm not the one going to Hell *SNARK*
283. Inter-racial relationships: hmm Wesley Snipes is HOT...oh, you were saying something?
284. Murder: "If only I could kill the killer" --A.M.
285. Death: It happens.
286. Obesity: there are more important issues in life than pants size, you know.
287. Pre-marital sex: I'm seriously considering having some.
288. Terrorism: inevitable
89. Pornography: >^D
290. Fortune Tellers: If I ever get my hands on some money, I'll go get my fortune read
291. Threesomes: with whom?
292. Prostitution: if you have to pay for it, you're not trying HARD enough. *cough* impotence joke *cough cough*
293. Politics: I hate politicians. Although it's not their fault they're scum.
294. Country music: No comment *swiftly chucks Garth Brooks CDs behind the couch, giggling nervously*
295. George W. Bush: a disgrace to his family.
296. Cloning: They can't seem to make it work very well, which is disappointing.
297. Britney's boobs: you cannot imagine how much I do not care.
298. Gas prices in America: oh for God's sake, stop whining. If you didn't drive a gas-guzzling soccermom-mobile-of-death, they might not be so expensive. Christ >_<

~Name Game~
What Do You Think Of When You Hear These Common Names?...
299. Jack: off >^D
300. Tiffany: she was cool
301. Ben: there, done that
302. Maria: Diaz. Tormented me in fifth grade. *Flashback* Bitch.
303. Jennifer: best friend in Japan.
304. Nicole: kinda sexy. Dunno anyone with this name but I've always kinda liked it.
305. Amy: went away and won't come back *is sad*
306. Adam: and Eve
307. Richard: the Lionheart
308. Justin: Time
309. Arnold: for Governor! ^_^
310. Tom: and Jerry (which now has me thinking "Ben&Jerry's" *^_^*)
311. Melissa: old friend from school, we lost touch
312. Charlotte: y'mean like the punk band?
313. Harold: and the Purple Crayon
314. John: Jaz's husband
315. Joel: BILLY *^_^* *Freaks out happily!!!!*
316. Vanessa: the evil matron of the Falkinor Drow. Uhh, you weren't supposed to know that.
317. Michelle: babysitting charge of mine
318. Kevin: Backstreet Babe! *Latches onto his ankles*
319. Brent: oooh, I knew several hot Brents in my day. Never dated 'em though.
320. Jake: Less Than Jake! *SING* Johnny Quest thinks we're what?! Johnny Quest thinks we're sellouts!!!
321. Billy: kid I used to make up Mortal Kombat stories about.
322. Sarah: my stepcousin from New York.
323. Natalie: almost my name.
324. Christy: Corpus Christie? A town in Texas
325. Nick: Nickelodeon! *squee* how I miss what it once was...
326. Linda: Hamilton. I respect her wicked arm muscles.
327. Taylor: nice name. Kinda shrimpy, though.
328. Jordan: Michael. Basketball player
329. Jamie: *SQUEEEE* *^_^*

330. Adrian: whoa, that's kinda Biblical sounding

~Have You Ever....~
331. Mooned anyone? NO
332. Been on a diet? multiple times
333. Been to a foreign country? lived in Japan
334. Broken a bone? wrist
335. Swallowed a tooth/cap/filling? almost, but no cigar
336. Swear at a teacher? not to her face
337. Talked to an LJ member via e-mails or instant messages? Well, I know Elfie X on her Smith/Neo group...she INVITED ME there! *Stunned.*
338. Got in a fight? lots.
339. Dated a teacher? Eeew
340. Laughed so hard you peed your pants? I was like, three. I don't think it counts.
341. Thought about killing your enemy? I tried. They pried me off him before I could finish.
342. Gone skinny dipping? multiple times.
343. Met another LJ member in the flesh? I don't have an LJ
344. Told a little white lie? steadily, my whole life.
345. Told a secret you swore not to tell? would I tell you, if I had?
346. Stolen anything? not from a store.
347. Misused a swear word and it sounded absolutely stupid? How can you misuse a swear word?
348. Been on TV? no
349. Been on the radio? no
350. Been in a mosh pit? no
351. Been to a concert? yes
352. Dated one of your best friends? no
353. Loved someone so much it makes you cry? I. Have. Never. Loved. You seem to be missing that part.
354. Deceived somebody close to you? not intentionally
355. Broken the law? no
356. Been to a rodeo? yes
357. Been on a talk show? no
358. Been on a game show? no
359. Been on an airplane? yes
360. Got to ride on a firetruck? yes
361. Came close to dying? I died immediately after I was born, and remained that way for half an hour before the doctors finally got their shit together and revived me. Hence the dain bramage.
362. Cheated on a bf/gf? no
363. Gave someone a piggy back ride? yes
364. Terrorized a babysitter? I French kissed him. He never came back.
365. Made a mud pie? no
366. Had a dream that you're falling off a cliff? I was thrown off, does that count?
367. Snuck out of the house at night? yes
368. Been so drunk you don't remember your name? no
369. Had an eating disorder? no
370. Felt like you didn't belong? most of the time
371. Felt like the 3rd wheel? (see above)
372. Smoked? no
373. Done drugs? no
374. Been arrested? no
375. Had your tonsils removed? no
376. Gone to camp? twice
377. Won a bet? no
378. Written a love letter? no
379. Gone out of your way to be with the one you love? no
380. Written a love poem? not to anyone
381. Kissed in the rain? no
382. Slow danced with someone you love? no
383. Participated in cyber sex? no
384. Faked an orgasm? since the only ones I have are autoerotic, isn't that kind of redundant?
385. Stolen a kiss? yes.
386. Asked a friend for relationship advice? no
387. Had a friend steal your bf/gf? no
388. Watched the sunset/rise with someone you love? no
389. Gotten a speeding ticket? I can barely drive
390. Done jail time? no
391. Had to wear a uniform to work? I had to wear one to martial arts class *shrug*.
392. Won a trophy? yes
393. Thrown up in public? also yes
394. Bowled a perfect game? no
395. Failed/got held back? no
396. Got perfect attendance in grade school? no
397. Roasted pumpkin seeds? yes. Tasty!
398. Taken ballet lessons? yes
399. Attempted suicide? almost. Changed my mind at the last second and got revenge instead.
400. Cut yourself? not on purpose. Almost chopped my left thumb off cutting bread once.

~Childhood Stuff~
401. Did you play with Barbies? BARBIE! She was always a cop or a princess or an alien or a superhero when I played with her, though.
402. Did you own Treasure Trolls? what are those?
403. Did you watch Beverly Hills 90210? no
404. Did you play Simon? WHEE I loved Simon! The new one sucks balls, though.
405. Did you watch Fraggle Rock? yes
406. Did you wet the bed? no
407. Did you believe there were monsters in your closet or under your bed? yes. Freddy Krueger still lives in my mirror, and he's waiting for me to make the mistake that will release him. *Shudder*
408. Did you wear the underwear with the days of the week on them? no.
409. Were you shy? no. Leader of the group.
410. Were you spoiled? Mom spoiled me, Dad was authortarian, so it kinda balanced out.
411. Were you abused? by Dad >^P *snaps belt* Come get some, sucka! >^P
412. Did you go to the circus? no
413. Did you go to the zoo? yes
414. Were you in a car accident? I almost got run down once
415. Did you build snowmen? no. had a snowball fight though.
416. Did you cry when you scraped your knee? Sobbed. Absolutely howled. Of course, you could see the cartilige poking out, so I think it was justified.
417. Were your older cousins mean to you? I only met them once. I don't remember.
418. Did you think slinkies were cool? ooooooh Slinky *plays with Slinky* I used to have a rainbow plastic slinky that I bought in Tomorrowland. I miss it *sniff*.
419. Did you think the Ninja Turtles really lived in the sewer? I used to hope with all my being that they did, though I knew better.
420. Were you afraid of the dark? The dark was afraid of me. Except for Freddy, who still waits.
421. Did you have slumber parties? yes
422. Did you have New Kids On The Block sheets, curtains, sleeping bags, dolls and pajamas? AAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRGH I HATE THEM HATE HATE HATE KILL
423. Did you tease your hair out like Tiffany? Ohh she was so pretty and nice *^_^*
424. Did you believe in the Easter Bunny/Santa Claus/ and the Tooth Fairy? all of them.

~Randomness~
425. Do you believe in aliens? yes
426. Name three things that are next to your computer: CD's, headphones, purse
427. Do you have any hidden talents? yes
428. Do you wish MTV would play music videos? *cough* Vh-1 Classic *cough*
429. If you were to star in a movie, what kind of movie would it be? fantasy/horror/action
430. What would your movie star name be? Tyler Dayne
431. Do you play any sports? no, used to though.
432. What's the scariest movie you've ever seen? Dream Warriors. *TWITCHES* Eleven years later, I still have flashbacks.
433. What is the best movie you've seen in the theater or rented recently? Seabiscuit
434. What is the dumbest movie you've ever seen? Mortal Kombat: Annihilation
435. Do you drive? not well, and I don't have a license.
436. What is your dream car? Mercedes
437. Do you think you're good looking? Good enough to have boys whistle *wiggles hips* >^D
438. Do others think you're good looking? They whistle, don't they?
439. Would you ever sky dive? no
440. Do you believe in Bigfoot? no
441. How many rooms do you have in your house? five bedroom two and a half bath, and it's a rental anyway
442.Are you afraid of roller coasters? NO they're fun!
443. Do you believe in God? yes
444. Do you believe in Satan? yes
445. Do you believe there is a heaven? yes
446. Do you believe there is a hell? yes
447. Do you own a pooltable? no
448. Do you have a pool? no
449. Do you have a dishwasher in your kitchen? yes
450. Do you like chocolate? I prefer salt.
451. Who/what is on your 2003 calendar? don't have one
452. How many U.S. states have you been to? five
453. Ever wished on a shooting star? yes
454. Best Halloween costume you ever wore? princess
455. Do you carry any weapons on you? on me? no.
456. What is your weakness? I'm insecure, virginal, female, annoying, foulmouthed, filthy-minded, opinionated, pushy, brassy, loud, quick-tempered, vindictive, the list keeps going...
457. Name something you can't get enough of: Smith/Neo slash >^D
458. Describe yourself in 3 adjectives: smart, sexy, difficult
459. How many kids do you want to have? 2 or none
460. Future daughters names: Nicole is a pretty name
461. Future sons names: I like Daniel
462. What is your ideal way to die? gently, preferably after a long life.
463. How do you release stress? music and exercise. Swearing helps, too.
464. Do you consider yourself a trendy person? why bother? all the trends out now suck anyway.
465. Are you an artisitic person? I am an asthete.
466. Are you a realistic person? highly
467. Do you un-tie your shoes every time you take them off? no
468. Are you a strong person? ish. I could probably take you in a fight, but I'm nothing like I used to be. I've gotten rather soft in my old age ;^p
469. Are you a strong willed person? intimidatingly so.
470. Who is the last person to e-mail you? Jaz
471. Who is the last person to IM you? Jaz
472. Do you hate chain e-mails? it's about all Ermax sends me, so considering it's at least proof he's alive *shrug* I suppose it's not too bad.
473. Are you a deep sleeper? sometimes.
474. Are you a good story teller? I'm an accomplished bullshit artist, yes.
475. What do you believe is your best quality? my verbal wit. *ZING!*
476. What is your greatest accomplishment? What, you mean besides the Golden Gate Bridge, the Statue of Liberty, and the Empire State Building? >^D
477. Do you like to burn candles or incense? they're okay, too much gives me a headache
478. Do you do yoga? no
479. Do you have your own credit card? no
Let's say you win the lotto. What do you do with all that money? Get a car, go to school, get a mansion, snare an even richer husband, retire, and write dirty books >^D
481. Do you have a check book? not anymore
482. Do you like your drivers licence? don't have one
483. Do you tan easily? I scorch and peel and bleed. I don't tan.
484. What color is your hair naturally? brown
485. How many fillings do you have? none
486. How many cavities did you have at your last dentist visit? I last visited the dentist eleven years ago, at which time I had perfect teeth.
487. Worst feeling in the world? knowing nothing will ever change.
488. Best feeling in the world? snuggled up to someone who loves you, breathing them in and listening to their heartbeat
489. Is the glass half empty or half full? screw you, I ordered a double
490. Last thing you downloaded? Music
491. Do you catch yourself using online terms in your real life? only as a joke
492. What do you think people think of you? bitch, freak, funny, mouse, friend.
493. Are you a likeable person? I'm a bit difficult but I'd like to think I'm worth the effort.
494. Do you need therapy? not anymore
495. Do you take medication for a chemical imbalance? no
496. What the best way to be proposed to? ON YOUR KNEES! >^D
497. If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge would they call it FED UP? They'd be called FUXEDS, actually...but that's just my two cents
499. When are you moving? maybe next year.
500. What's your favorite phrase? awesome.
Time Finished: 5:28 pm.
Finished Editing: 5:50 pm.
Posted: 6:05 ish. Also pm. Same day.

Boilerplate

Dear Diary:

I am a morning person, with sufficient sleep. Up and bouncy at 4:45AM.

I love riding down the Interstate in the dark, with lights streaking by and the air
pounding viciously against the opened windows.

So of course mom rolled the windows up. Pfft.

She did put the lite rock channel on, though.

Yes, I like the lite rock channel. I dare you to make something of it.

They were playing my theme song this morning. *^_^*

Hall and Oates' "Maneater". No, really, it's my theme song. I have family consensus on it.

Presently, I'm at the office. The work environment is much improved by my Cher CD.

Being that I have nothing else to do, (Wow. *Cringes at her own hideous grammar*) I
catalogued some of the mutants' more typical gestures.

Small, sharp hiss = "WTF?"

arms folded, stroking claws = deep thought, holding down irritation, pensive

tongue between teeth = "I'm not sure about this..."

thumb to earlobe = "you're not listening to me, are you?" (mildly offensive)

same + pulling = "get to the point, buddy." (definitely of the confrontational)

pulling + headshake = "you're full of it!" (get ready to fight for it)

thumb to chin = thinking about it, "you've got my attention" (positive)

"thinker" pose = definitely listening, esp. in negotiations, in which case the elbow should rest on the table

draws upright = "say, now!" general surprise or intrigue. Context depends on language, etc.

smile, headshake, nod, wink, raised eyebrows, and/or laughter = all human-normal

lick lips = "Hellllooo Nurse!", a definite come-on

We're going out shopping in a few hours, I'll let you know how that goes.

Seeya :^)

Someone Told Me Love Would All Save Us

But That World Never Came

Surprise of the week:

My mom likes Nickelback. No, we'll ammend that. She loves Nickelback.

Not that I blame her ^_^

Her favorite is Hero. The almighty Spiderman song.

(Mine is How You Remind Me. I can't decide if it belongs to Baraka, or me. *Fights him for it* ;^) )

But we'll go deeper into shock, because she was all "Here, put some music on this (Winamp) thing for me." Which was a heart-stopper, since this is my computer and the only music on it is all my stuff. So I swallowed anxiety and grabbed a handful of the songs that stick in my head.

And she loved everything I picked. *Is knocked over with a feather.*

Our cocentric tastes go like this:

Hero Nickelback
How You Remind Me Nickelback
Someday Nickelback
Ring of Fire (Banghra Edition) Melissa Kaplan
Mr. Jones Counting Crows
A Long December Counting Crows
I Ran (So Far Away) Flock of Seagulls
Cup of Coffee Garbage
Carry On Dancing Savage Garden
Prayer Jan Johnston
I Hear (Secrets) The Romantics
Remember The Time Michael Jackson

Well, yeah, I was being careful. I know for a fact that Powerman 5000 isn't up her alley ;^P

She likes Splashdown, Garbage, and Bjork, though. I mean, fuck, how cool is that? She was, like, singing along. Which is slightly eerie, but flattering in the extreme.

My mom is cool :^D

I may trick her into liking Stabbing Westward, because I love them.

I mean, I've written two stories named after their songs. Torn Apart and Can't Happen Here, respectively.

That last one isn't a fic, and isn't finished, and no, you wouldn't like it. Witness the straight woman writing alternate-lifestyle fiction: two disparate men begin the long and rocky road to true love--with each other. No, I mean with each other. Whee! *^_^*

Anyway, back with the musical choices. Mileena's new favorite is Stabbing Westward's "High". She actually suggested it as their love theme, which makes a lot of sense. (Mild content advisory, but I clipped it from the summary, so *shrug*.)

I've never been as high as I was with you
I've never been so high
I've never been as high as I was with you
I've finally realized
That's a perfect high

This hunger
It consumes me
I lost my soul
As you came rushing through my veins...

'Cause I've lost so much
Chasing that perfect high
I've lost so much!

I've never been as high as I was with you
I've never been so high
I've never been as high as I was with you
I've finally realized
That's a perfect high

It's so pretty :^D If fiction were film, it'd belong in the closing credits.

No, I'm not at all presumptuous ;^)

If there's anything I've learned, it's this: I might as well be conceited and get it over with, because a lot of people are going to act humble while being conceited anyway, and at least this way, I'm being honest. *^_^*

Not to mention it outrages Smith :^D

He's all sulky about the way I've been lavishing attention on the mutants.

Sulky Smith = just adorable *squee*.

SMITH: You've been...ignoring us for some time now, Miss Meyr. *Does the Glare*.

NEO: Don't mind him.*SMIRK.* There is no spoon. If you get what I'm telling you.

ME: Shut up, both of you, or I'll tell Trinity what you're up to.

NEO: !! *POUT* >^(

SMITH: ...Bitch.

ME: Anyway, Downpour is done. You were the ones that wanted a damn ficlet clear in the middle of Mileena's monologue. So I don't want to hear it.

NEO: >^P! *Razzzzz*

SMITH: What he said.

ME: And if he said "down on all fours"?

SMITH (without missing a beat or changing expression): And ruin the knees of my suit? How do you contaminants put it? "I don't fucking think so."

I taught him everything he knows >^D

See you, peeps.

The Kid Done Did It Again

Word!

I just finished up my first coherent original short.

Actually, that marks the first original anything I've done all year.

I won't make any quality claims. I'm just delirious that I completed something, and that it's all mine!

1,012 words. And it makes sense, and tells a complete event, and totally doesn't rely on any of my fandoms and came straight from the recesses of my brain *^_^*

And, oh yeah, it's werewolf fiction.

*As Shao Kahn* BOW TO ME!

Players

Relational Lyrics

I'm not the first to do this to their 'ships, and I won't be the only. But just sitting there listing it all out is boring. So I'm going to cut all the lyrics up and make one gigantic song out of them. They're not exactly seamless, but oh well.

Follow the bouncing ball! ;^D

You say you're seeing it my way
Look at it this way
You're the one in control
I'll settle for a cup of coffee
You know what I mean
I'll settle for a cup of coffee
You know what I mean
You know what I mean

It's human nature
And I'm not sorry
I'm not your bitch don't hang your shit on me
You wouldn't let me say the words I longed to say
You didn't want to see life through my eyes
You tried to shove me back inside your narrow room
And silence me with bitterness and lies

You've become my new temptation
When you play with my intentions
Pull the rope so tight
I can hardly breathe
Take me 'round again
I rise and fall again
It's the same, I live to die
I'll never call your name
Take me 'round again

Well she was more like a beauty queen
From a movie scene
Said I don't mind but what do you mean
I am the one?
Who would dance
On the floor
In the round
And people always told me
Be careful who you love
Be careful what you do
Because the lies become the truth

Now that you believe
I'm a friend indeed
Someone you can count on
Automatic, guaranteed
Like a thief in the night
I've got what you like
I want what you've got
I've got what you need
When you need me, call
I won't let you fall
Whatever you need
I've got it, guaranteed
Can I make you see
You can count on me
Just call my name and I'll come running

Heh. Guess who's who? >^D

Oh, the fun at home continues to unfold:

Among other things, the story that got back to us was that my aunt had informed the evil one that I couldn't keep up with her.

Actually, it was the other way around. Just going window-shopping--and not as much as I wanted, either--ran her into the ground. (It ought to have--she's on disability for a reason, people.) Which was clearly embarrassing and painful for her. So I worked it around that I had to rest at the intervals she suggested, that maybe I was feeling tired, too. It wasn't that difficult, and it clearly made her feel better.

But people in the States can't deal with being treated nice--particularly without motivation or angle, by someone they barely know.

I do things, a lot of core interpersonal things, the Japanese way by default.

It is my nature to ferret out people's needs, pre-empt them, and deliver with a smile before they know they ever wanted something.

People can't deal with that. Not really. It makes them uncomfortable.

Conversely, I'm getting very, very tired of being punished just because I'm nice.

A lot of my friends have told me that, you know. "You're too nice."

What the flying fucking hell? How can you be too nice?

Well, I mean, there's that fakey, really-I'm-being-mean kind of nice, but I haven't done that to my friends. (Cue me, scratching my head harder than ever. What exactly does that mean, too nice?)

Seems like everybody in the scene today
Is talkin' about how good it used to be
But TODAY,
RIGHT NOW
Is the way it's gonna be!

It's very simple: if I'm being good to you, it's because I think you deserve it.

Now shut up and take it, bitch! *Snaps whip.* >^D

See you 'round, peeps.

GIVE ME Zion's Access Codes

Only Human

I don't mean to come off all big and scary.

It just happens. Which is odd.

I'm five feet two inches tall, and a girl, and I have this really soft, almost painfully sugary voice that, while capable of some sourness, has no real bass. I mean, I dunno, I don't look scary. At least not to me. I wear unassuming blank t-shirts and unassuming khaki or denim shorts. I have these modest little white sparkle-threaded sneakers.

What's the deal? What? I'm not going to eat you or anything.

...Unless you piss me off.

Maybe it's that proviso. Which strikes me as especially ludicrous. Wouldn't anybody attack if they were sufficiently provoked? Why am I, like, the scary case?

Is it because I swear? Is it because of the eyebrows? (I do have large, dark, heavy eyebrows--I don't care if they're not "in" or "stylin' ", when I'm eighty and I still have nice eyebrows and you are some browless old freak I'll be laughing so hard). Is it because of the Twitchy Forehead Vein of Death?

...Well, okay, the Twitchy Forehead Vein of Death is pretty scary. I creep myself out, with that one.

I guess people either admire me or get the hell out of my way.

Don't ask why I write these things *kicks all her most recent scribblings, fanfic and non*. The answer's not pretty. I do it because, well, really, I can't stop. I'm always making shit up about something, whether I'm talking about it or writing it down. At least writing it down helps keep me from lying.

Yeah, I lie. Other people would be all cute and say they "embellish", like they were jewellers fancying up the dull uncut stone of their lives. Don't kid yourselves. It doesn't matter how pretty it is. It doesn't matter how seamless and believable and generally better than your actual, real, solid life it is. It's still not strictly true, and therefore, it is a lie.

People lie.

No, no, I'm serious. PEOPLE LIE. We tell comfy little untruths all day long to grease the wheels of our interpersonal relationships. Ever said "great" when you meant "awful"? Guess what. That's not being accomodating. It's not being nice. It's lying.

Hey, lying isn't bad. It's just kind of necessary.

There's something freeing in that. Really.

I'm a liar who tells lies, in a world smoothed and beautified and in some cases perpetuated entirely by literal, factual lies.

Truth is a functional issue, not a moral one.

It's funny, the text looks angry, like I should feel angry, writing it, or be angry, speaking it.

All I feel is...liberated.

I feel like I should be swinging from the chandeliers, except this is a modest, two-story suburban rental home, and thus it has no chandeliers. We do have a hanging lamp sort of thing, but I'm too heavy for that.

How much do I weigh? How incredibly rude. *SNORT.*

However, since you're now picturing me as this disgusting short beached-whale sort of thing, I can tell you I weigh less than 150lbs. And I would weigh considerably less than 150lbs. if I could just stay out of the ice cream. Which I can't. Not because I really can't, mind you, but because I don't really want to.

What? No, you can't have any. It's MINE >^D

I guess that's why I do most of the things in my life: I want to. Really want to. And other people's expectations just go out this little window--I can really be very rude about it, very rough--is that why people are scared of me?--when I do.

I'm going through this strange, selfish phase where I'm revelling in my own power. The truth is I'm short and soft-spoken, and the inner...beast...is more like this gigantic kitty.

I guess I'm feeling so high, so incredibly good that it's like I'm medicated, because it's finally okay for me to be like that. To freakin' be who I am.

Not speaking with my father helps a lot.

No more "Why can't you?" and "Why don't you?" and "You disappoint me."

It's that last one that always used to get me. Every time.

Or its twin: "I'm not angry, just disappointed."

Yes, you are angry. I know you are, because just listening to your little tirade I am so angry I want to punch you in the nose, good and hard, just to shut you up.

There was nothing domestically abberant in my household. Right. Of course there wasn't.

Or, rather, there hasn't been, since he left nine years ago. So I suppose, in his retelling, that would make it the same thing.

Excuse me. My brother's just been with the man for a month. And you would not believe the things pouring from that man's mouth. Just...poison. *Is livid.*

Okay, so now I am angry. Maybe that's what scares people: my flashpan temper.

Must...write...more...angst.

I believe all characters should suffer. They must suffer. They deserve to suffer. *Goes all vamp* HIIiiiiiSssss! >^D

It's not like I don't believe in happiness, or some equally depressing thing. I just like it when they're all tormented and broody.

Hmm...I just found a good word. Well I mean I had always had this word, but I looked it up again.

Picaresque. *BIG grins*. I like that one. It's all spicy-sounding *^_^*

Okay, see, give me a little food, and maybe a little sugar, and I get all happy again ;^)

"Fight, f*ck, sleep, eat, and repeat. I love this relationship."

Heh. That'll get the crap edited out of it before it resurfaces where it's supposed to. And it won't be where you think. Or the other place you just thought of, either.

Don't you love me when I'm cryptic? Of COURSE you do >^D

Admit it. Right here, right now, you all love me.

Wait and see what she does next! Step right up, folks! >^D

Oh, and yes, that transplant of yours is quite charming. *LOVE*. *^_^*

I never read the source material proper, but I don't suppose that matters; I'm enjoying it anyway.

Faretheewell :^D

Bwa-hahahaha!

Ph34r M3!

I took one of those "which thingy describes your slash set"? quizzes.

Completely not in my fandoms, completely not for a ship I like. (Snape/Harry--URRRGH *rips out her eyes and washes them repeatedly in an effort to erase the images*.) Major Squicksville.

And yet it was also insightful:

"You love the thought of Snape and Harry using one another as a means of escaping the coldness of reality in a few minutes of warmth. Though it is usually an unconcious decision, when your boys fall in love all of the masks come off. Your favourite stories most probably include a lot of angst, confusion, and sex. Wahoo!"

Not so much how I read, but definitely how I write. ^_~

Stick the names Smith and Neo in there. Or Mileena and Baraka. Or Jax and Sonya. Or Kitana and Mileena. (I'm not giving up on that one and STOP staring at me like that!) That's exactly how it all works, at least for me.

Anyway.

I'll give you the link if you want it; didn't figure it was something the general crew would be interested in, though.