More Survey Shit

With Hyperlinks

With comments at the bottom for you since you seem to be around ^_^ Go see, clicky clicky...

~*~* NAMES *~*~

1.What is your real, full name? *Takes off sunglasses slowly* Elrond. AGENT Elrond.

2.What other names were your parents thinking about for you? Natasha, Natalie, Anastasia, and April. GO mom ^_^ "Jessica" was actually my father's idea...

3.If you had been born of the opposite gender, what was your name going to be (according to your parents)? Christopher

4. What does your name mean (if you know)? The whole thing? -Wealthy- -Just lady- -Moonlight-...err...not sure what the hell my surname means...something dumb and German. *Unenthusiastic* Yay for German dirt-farmers.>^P

I like my Net name(s). That's why I chose them. GO Elrond ^_^ King of the Elves. Yes, I want to be KING of the Elves. *Ignores the attendant gender problem, stupid gender grrr*

5. Do you like your name? Grown to enjoy it. The book "Dune" helps a lot; I love playing meddling females who ruin kingdoms with their good intentions, it's very ME *^_^*

6. Do you know anyone else with your name? Say my name and nine different women turn around at the same time. Guaranteed.

7. If you could change your name, what would it be to? I would like to be...Heitele. And none of you know what that means >^D

8. What is coolest name of someone you know? Hell I'm not flattering anybody, sorry, go away *waves them off*.

9. The wierdest? He'll smack me, and anyway I've heard weirder >^D

10. The plainest/ugliest? Umm, mine?

~*~*FAVORITES*~*~

11. What is your favorite weapon? Anything that burns. FIRE >^D

12. What is your favorite genre of book? epic fantasy. Or dirty books. BOTH if I can get it.

13. What is your favorite planet? The moon, Io. Love the name.

14. Your favorite type of sandwich? EWW I have to eat them everyday thanks for reminding me you sadistic git!

15. How about your favorite role playing game (if you play them)? Anything that involves 'me' holding a gun and being a dork (ie all of them) ^_^

16. Your favorite play? are you fucking kidding me? Do I sound erudite and cultured to you? Piss off >^F

17. Favorite joke? Me?

18. Favorite color of clothing on you? burgundy/cranberry etc.

19. Favorite fruit juice flavor? I despise fruit, thanks for nothing >^P

20. What's your favorite thing to look up online? spy on other journals, crawl around in the pits of hell, and look for the next great slash epic featuring Neo and Smith

~*~*ABOUT PEOPLE YOU KNOW*~*~

21. Do you know anyone who drinks underage (if yes, how many)? ME and I'm guessing all the rest of my under-and-overage friends. Bacardi, anyone? I'll pour >^D

22. Smokes (if yes, how many)? Stepmom and most recent RL crush

23. Does drugs (if yes, how many)? One enemy, several years removed

24. Lost their virginity before being married? my father. Seriously.

25. Worships the devil? Would I give a shit?

26. Has had their life threatened? Me and this girl

27. Do you know anyone who hates slurpees? *BLINK* Since when is that an epiphany OR a crucial fact?

28. Give a rough estimate of how many people you know. More than 50. Less than 8 of those are close, fewer of those are friends.

29. Now how many of them are your friends? I just TOLD you, you brainless fuck! >^F

30. Where are the majority of your friends from (i.e. sports, school)? volunteer work + Net. IR geek *^_^*

~*~*WOULD YOU EVER*~*~

31. Eat bugs purposely? Only for money.

32. Commit a crime? see above. And LOTS of it.

33. Change your religion? Have, a couple times, and then changed it back. Religion is like a hat, best when worn.

34. Lie to your parents? I've been more or less constantly lying to them since I was like, three. >^D

35. Jump over a waterfall? In my dreams. No, literally, IN MY DREAMS. It was a joke, you dork.

36. Change clothes in front of an open window? Depends on who's watching and how much money they want to stick in my G-string and yes I think I just said that out loud >^D

37. Dress up as the opposite sex for an important event? GIVE me an excuse to be Elrond. Please?

38. Go out at night dressed in something like a black trenchoat and sunglasses? Gimme Desert Eagle, too? So I can break my wrist with the recoil?

39. Sing a harmonized duet in front of 500 strangers? Oooh who do I get to sing with? *^_^*

40. Tell someone that you liked them if they were much older than you? Why not? I enjoy older people. Just not...THAT much older, men tend to lose function after a certain point and then they're more useless than usual.

~*~*HAVE YOU EVER*~*~

41. Lied to your parents about something really important? umm, duh.

42. Have your life threatened? Genuinely threatened? Twice.

43. Stumbled across FBI secrets online? *BLINK*

44. Stayed up until the morning light talking online? Mmm-hmm ^_^

45. Made people give you really wierd glances? If yes, how? Yeah, sure. Comes from my short haircut (whee, cute 60's shit), the withering looks I offer most of humanity, and my taste in smutfic.

46. Read a Shakespeare play? Does "King Lear" count?

47. Talked in your sleep? What did you say? Yes. "*SCREAM* NO! *Bolts upright*"

48. Sung at a kareoke bar? not yet >^D

49. Looked something up online your parents specifically told you not to look up? Wtf? 20, me. And my parents are NOT the goddamn Thought Police. Christ! >_<

50. Been run over... with a bike? No

~*~*WHO'S*~*~

51. Number one on your hit list? To be killed? *Shrug*

52. On your aol instant messaging list (Give screen names and real names, if possible)? I. DON'T. FUCKING. USE. AO-FUCKING-L. *End Of Rant.*

53. The person you talk to most online? what and show favoritism?

54. The person you talk to least online? Jaz. Although we're remedying that...

55. The person who calls you ever other day? bill collectors. And telemarketers. Oh, and the occasional friend.

56. Is there anyone that dumped you when you most needed them? I have never needed anyone, and that's usually why they leave.

57. The last person you talked to on the phone with? *Moira. Mom's friend.

58. The person/people you're with the most? family. I live with them so it's kinda hard to not be around them *shrug.*

59. Never home? *Elle. Jesus, girlie, where did you go? I MISS YOU. *Pines to death*.

60. Always home? Me. *Beckons* COME to Butt-head. >^D

~*~*THIS OR THAT*~*~

61. Mulan or Moulin Rouge? BOTH >^D = Nicole Kidman naked in a pond with Ewan MacGregor and since you're all staring at me I'll shut up now *^_^*

62. 7 Up or Dr. Pepper? UGH

63. Hamsters or Gerbils? Mice

64. Rats or Mice? Rats

65. The Swings or the Slide? SWINGS *^_^* I can go higher than yoooou *tease taunt tease* *^_^*

66. Rollercoaster or Merry-Go-Round? *SIIING* Hah! I wanna take you on a roller coaster..."

67. Sneakers, Sandals, or No Shoes? Hi-tops!

68. Italian or Mexican food? Can I have lobster instead?

69. Fast Food or Sit Down Restaurant? Sit-down

70. The Sun or the Moon? BOTH.

~*~*MORE FAVORITES*~*~

71. What's your favorite quote about love?

"Words are always getting in my way
Anyway I love you
That's all I have to say"

--All I Have To Say, TLU soundtrack

72. Favorite quote about friends?

"Your friend there's quite the charmer. Wonder if he actually cares about anything."

--Princess Leia, "A New Hope"


73. How about about life?

"I'm crossing a river
And this time I'll make it through
With your faith and your arms open wide
I see you there on the other side
I'm crossing a river
Of fear and pride"

--The Devlins, "Crossing a River"

74. What's your favorite humorous quote?

"Me, me, me." (The Story of my Life ^_^) --The Matrix Reloaded

75. How about the quote that makes you go, "Hmmm,"?

"I think I speak for everyone here when I say 'huh?' " --Buffy the Vampire Slayer


76. The quote that makes you go, "To true, to true."

Firstly, jackass, it's "TOO true", and secondly:

"You could have it all
My empire of dirt
I will let you down
I will make you hurt."

--NIN, "Hurt"

77. What's your favorite swear word? "shit" and/or "holy shit"

78. What's your favorite non-swear word? awesome. I'm always saying it, at least.

79. What's your favorite thing to do on a cold day? curl up in blankets and build a. Warm. Fuzzy. NEST! *^_^*

80. How about your favorite thing to do on a hot day? bookstore.

~*~*WHAT DO YOU SEE*~*~

81. Are there any shoes in the room? Several pair

82. Underwear? Err, no

83. Dishes, glasses, forks, spoons etc? my mug? Empty, sadly. *Fetches more coffee*

84. Something unidentifiable that is very nasty looking? We have unopened software from 1991. *SCARED* Hold me. ^^;

85. Money? nope.

86. A TV? not plugged in. Off against the wall.

87. Is there a fan in the room with you? no

89. How about a blanket? no

90. What colors are the walls and the floor? white and some kind of beige/coffee that is now just the color of dirt.

~*~*WRAPPING IT UP*~*~

91. In how many languages can you say "Goodbye?" six

92. And how many of those can you actually spell? three

93. What's your favorite way of ending a letter? I don't like writing the damn things, unless email counts, and then it's usually some variation of "Later! ^_^"

94. Who's the last person you said goodbye to you, and where were they going? parents. Out somewhere.

95. Is there any wierd way you say goodbye? ??

96. How do you end internet conversations? with a string of emoticons and some form of "goodnight"

97. Do you realize I'm just stalling to get to 100? I wondered what the hell you were waiting for...

98. Have you ever seen any of these questions on any other survey before? umm, duh

99. On a scale from 1-10, 1 being the worst, what would you rate this? Ehh. I've had worse.

100. Say a nice word to the people you are sending this to, or who you recieved it from. Amy will kill me if I write nice things about her. I am scared of Amy. (Knowing her she will take this as a compliment of the highest order, which in fact it is.)

Good Morning, Mr. Anderson

Your Eyes Haunt Me Afterhours. Tell No One.

I'll say it again: Smith and Neo belong together. *LOVE.*

The sad part being that none of the gay guys I know IRL are half as interesting. Or half as committed to anything but themselves and their image.

They're like girls, sorta. Only slightly more whiny. I guess the fact that *William, in particular is going through midlife crisis just sort of exacerbates his native primma donna attitude.

Says the girl with the diva complex. ^^;

That's MISS Empress of All She Surveys to you, thank you ;^P

I dunno how anyone puts up with me. On the Net or otherwise. You get to know me, and after awhile the constant wisecracks wear very thin indeed. At least, I suppose that's why the majority of my relationships go "poof". It's that or my insistence on being the power figure.

Sometimes I can supress it. Especially if I meet someone more assertive, with more power. Power, YUM. I can play nice for them. I can giggle and smile, and yes, I can actually properly fetch umeboshi tea. Good luck finding another gaigiin girl who can manage that ^_~

But sooner or later, reality comes knocking. I guess the quip "the bitch is back" is basically the story of my life.

Oh. And things are financially looking up. ^_^

We have much better food, for example.

From toast and hot dogs to salmon. Grilled salmon cuts with steamed rice. Food the way it should be ^_^ Famine to feast and back 'round again, I guess.

Woo, go Jheti, spill the secrets of your life to a bunch of virtual strangers. It's not like they care, anyway. ^^;

Yeah, I know, sorry. I should be, well, a funny charming fuzzy hostess all the time.

I feel a lot more like the smartass old waitress at a greasy spoon.

I've always felt older. It comes from being principally raised by my mom and her best friend, both of whom were thirtysomethings and treated me as an equal.

So much of an equal, in fact, that my first word was..."bullshit".

As you can imagine, Kahn was thrilled. *Throws a few more darts at his picture, just for fun.*

Actually--and this is eerie, now that I think of it--as a child, I wasn't around a lot of men. That's Navy living. The men go off to sea and leave the women and children. Unless the wife is a Wave, and even then, the daddy is expected to have some kind of job and foist the kids off on another mom.

They're so distant, all the time, that I "chose" the wrong man as my father, ages ago, standing on the pier in Houston.

I just happened to choose the one man that my father felt threatened by. (How would I know? I was two, and I had never met him, and seen only a few pictures.) Dumbledore to You-Know-Who, if you will ;^p

ME: Daddy? *BOUNCE and latch onto the guy's legs*

GUY: *laughing*.

MOM: No, sweetie.

ME: *squint* Daddy?

GUY: Well, yeah, dear, but not yours. Sorry, sweetie. *Smile*

(I remember thinking that he had the nicest smile I'd ever seen. Like a commercial or something. Only real.)

MOM: *gently prying me from the man's ankles* Come on, let's go see Daddy...Sorry about this...

GUY: *bigger smile* No problem.

Enter ANOTHER GUY. They all wear the same damnable khaki outfits--on my height, the whole world is a blur of women's calves in heeled pumps and stern khaki tree-trunks. This GUY is wearing a lost look and a rather prominent scowl. I'd never had someone look at me with such intensity. Like I was a bug and he was just waiting to step on me.

NEW GUY: Don't you know me?

ME: *tries to hide behind mom*.

MOM: This is Daddy. Come say hi, honey...

ME: ..... *bursts into tears*

And it was the beginning of a long and...well...mostly a LONG...something.

To be fair, I have an evil streak. Really.

None of you have ever seen me in a temper. I scream. I hit pitches reserved for steam-whistles. I howl curses 'til I'm blue in the face, pausing only to gulp breath before screaming some more. And I throw things. I used to break things, too, but that's kind of diminished in the face of it not really accomplishing anything... When sufficiently provoked, I am a lone female tornado. Be very glad you don't live with me.

Well, no, not really. I'm more like, say, a volcano. The pressure builds quietly, almost gently, imperceptible until it erupts, taking whole cities in its path.

I'm like Sindel. When I scream, people NOTICE ^_^

Anyway. Now that I'm finished airing the dirty laundry, I'm off to write twinslash.

No, I don't mean the Matrix Twins.

You'll see. Or you won't. Depending on my mood, and whether it meets R-rating requirements. *Shrug*.