I Still Remember
An Uneven Trade For The Real World
I want to go back to
Believing in everything
And knowing nothing at all
That, and the header, are from Mileena's newest fascination song: Evanescence's Field of Innocence. She liked I Must Be Dreaming, but this one caught her by the throat. She did that "standstill" thing they do when something affects them, shut her eyes and danced against it, gently.
So that'll be her theme from that band. Unreleased, of course. (Well, it was on their album Origin, but good luck getting one of those--they're upwards of $300-$600 on E-Bay. If you can even find one.)
Brin was actually the first one to latch onto Evanescence. And we're talking vicious, tortured, I-hate-you-both-and-wish-I-were-dead Brin. "Shadows" Brin.
She grabbed onto Haunted and actually bit Smith when he tried to take it away. THAT was a cool fight. Final total 9 to 1,032, in Smith's favor.
BRIN: He CHEATS! And he has no spark! *Makes crude gesture* Gutless, mindless, heartless...
SMITH: *Lifts one eyebrow*...Not anymore.
As for Haunted: do you think I'm gonna barf up lyrics? Come on, this is me you're talking to, bear with it for a second. I'll mix them up a bit:
Still can't find what keeps me here
When all this time I've been so hollow inside
(I KNOW you're still there)
Watching me
Wanting me
I can feel you pull me down
Fearing you
Loving you
I won't let you pull me down
Hunting you
I can smell you, alive
Your heart pounding in my head
That's an awesome song. They both are. I'm just saying. ^_~
At the moment, Eminem is actually in the player. Also Brin's insistence. I tend to let her have her way in the off hours, since Mileena gets control of the story.
Well if you want me,
Then this is what I'll give ya
A little bit of me
Mixed with some hard liquor
Stop scowling at me like that, darling. I'll be legal in less than 90 days >^D
That and I haven't had a drink in--oh, ages. Since I last got a little buzzed and decided to do that really huge survey. It's about damn time for some more, actually. And me with alcoholic genes...
Oooh, pretty fire, let's play with the fire, let's torch it 'til it all burns, all the way down.
'Cause we need a little controversy
'Cause it feels so empty without me
Look at it this way: I'm the best worst influence you'll ever have. *^_^*
Have I mentioned I love you all? *Big air kiss for all of the two people that are reading this.*
I don't know. Something happened. I grew into my own opinions. I think I've finally developed a writing "voice", as well. God, that helped so much. I finally have my own style of saying what I mean and meaning what I say.
And other--things--that just improved the quality of my life. Those financial private dirty-laundry things that don't interest you, and that I don't bore anyone with until I've met them face to face.
Hmm. Outfit?
navy spaghetti-strap tank
my favorite black bra
the gold chains. (both twenty-four carat. I've it goin' on *^_^*)
plain boring underwear
drawstring jeans
Gaining weight. Again. I'm actually having trouble fitting into things >_<
I haven't been dancing in almost a year. There isn't the cash, or the free time. And what exactly is the point of exercise if I don't get to show off? I couldn't wear a miniskirt anymore if I wanted to, anyway.
So this must mean I'm disgusting
But it's just me
I'm just obscene
*Ahem* I hate. Hate hate hate hate. HATE. My thighs. That is all. They're evil. EVIL I tell you.
Let me think:
Tenchi got his braces out today. His verdict? "At least they're gone."
Other than that, nothing happening. The usual variety of fertility-related pains, including an impressive headache that actually had me seeing stars. That was cool, in a "look at the pretty sparkles that probably should alarm me, but I hurt too much to care" kind of way.
Oh, wait. I showed some of my work to one of our business partners. She didn't like Red, but she was impressed with the other one. (Whee, original smut. *^_^*) Except for "one sentence near the end."
Can't think why. I don't use purple prose, and it was TAME, even by my prissy lukewarm standards. *Shrug*
Not exactly the way I'd planned to make a name for myself, but then again, I'll be using psuedonyms anyway >^D
And it's fun. I don't have to make Barbie and Ken be married, or in love--they don't even have to know each other well. They just have to drop drawers. It's blissfully uncomplicated. I imagine I'll tire of it eventually. But by then I ought to have made some serious money at it, too.
I'm also working on original sword-and-sorcery, and sword-and-science, so please take that forlorn look off your face.
I'm taking a good hard look at my werewolf-'verse, in light of this movie Underworld--if that's a big hit, or even a marginal one, there might be a greater demand for Fangs and Precious and Slayer and Red and poor Dylan and...well, you get the idea.
Tell me what to do
So I do nothing wrong
Something I can hope for
Something real
That I can see
So nothing falls apart
So this does not end
I cannot return
I can't start again
That's VNV Nation. I still like Rubicon best. I probably always will. It's wonderful. Frustrated and lovely. Beautiful dance. I'll put it on the mile-long list. And it's only six minutes ;^)
And I made another Utena wallpaper. This one with song lyrics. *Devours a live crow whole with an eager gulp.* Stabbing Westward. I deliberately made a negative image of a very pretty pastel picture, and got tortured blue, black and green tones.
It's Utena and Anthy, and no, no, I'll put it up in Vanities...don't want to spoil it. It's an 8x6 paper, though.
And I'm out of here, since Shadows came unstuck--a whole scene's worth of unstuck--and it's 1:03 AM for me and I'm tired.
And goodnight, all. ^_^
*Falls asleep at the desk.*
posted by Jheti at
1:15 AM
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