Turn Your Back on Mother Nature

Everybody Wants To

This survey's been going 'round Foxie's friends list, so I answered it.

If I Ruled The World:

Ok the point of this is for those of you with the mental capacity of an american president, a survery to see how you and others would change things if you were in charge.

Answers given in boldface.

1. As the boss of the world what would your title be?

Empress.

2. Are you a benevolent leader, cruel leader, evil leader or an insane leader?

Insane. I am here to reintroduce the 1980s. Clearly, that does not equal mental stability.

3. You get to have a city of your own what do you name it?

Wellsville, or Melody Lane.

4. Cool and futuristic world, utopia, dark oppressed world or what?

Future world, in the 80's mode *^_^* (Geodesics, mass transit, etc. etc.)

5. Your in charge, what are the first 10 things that have to go asap?

Smooth jazz music, nipple piercings (you ASKED!), GoGurt (that stuff is NASTY), reality TV, Friends, the Star Wars prequels (let's pretend they never happened), world hunger, fossil fuel, suffering in general, and overpopulation.

6. Your subjects are rebelling, you need to put the fear of God or some other deity into them, which 10 people do you choose to publicly execute to get your message across?

Nsync (as a collective they count as one), Joseph Lieberman, Jaques Chiraq, the people who hurt Jaz, the people who hurt Foxie, the people who hurt me, anybody who's so much as harmed a hair on Nyohah's head, Brittney Spears, Julia Roberts, Ermax's professors, whichever cast is on Survivor (welcome to Slaughter Island, you whiney little b*tches), and anybody who has a problem with my other nine choices. *SMILE.*

7. Absolute power corrupts absolutely, what kind of people do you choose to persecute to satisfy your isane desires?

Celebrities, mostly. Followed by politicians worldwide, irrespective of party lines, especially in my home country. There are plenty of idiot Republicans, and perhaps twice as many idiot Democrats, waiting for the business end of my Lawgiver.

8. You need a national anthem or whatever, what's your song?

Of the country? Dead tie between "Welcome to the Jungle" by Guns N' Roses and "Smells Like Teen Spirit" by Nirvana.

9. The gods are unhappy (or someone is or something) do you choose to sacrifice a virgin, build a temple or just throw children into a volcano or something?
Build a temple. And then dance around it. My gods are easily appeased by good dance music and heavy-duty ass-shakin'.

10. Laws do you really need them? Of course.

I AM the law! And head Judge *pumps up her Lawgiver* Court is now in session, b*tch!

11. Can we all get drunk have lots of sex, and do drugs or are you one of those boring straight edge people (or conservative right same thing really)?

Alcohol is fun. AIDS is not. Meaning: condoms are mandatory. After that small precaution, it's orgy time.

12. You can give positions of power to your friends or family, who gets a spot?

Nyohah is Education Minister, she'd smarten up the masses in a hurry. Jaz is Chief of Secret Police, 'nuff said. Ernigmac gets Foreign Affairs--the outside world's only prayer against my ruthlessly perfect Utopia. Foxie gets Domestic--glitter and bat wings in every home. Ermax gets what I figure I'll call the Arts Ministry, because VH1's Save the Music isn't doing squat. And Tenchi? He gets charge of the nukes >^D Don't sweat it; I'm keeping all the keys. You didn't seriously think I'd give anyone else that much power?

13. Anywhere in the world is yours for the taking, where are you gonna live?

Puh-leeze. Like I'm telling you where my secret hideout is gonna be. Pfft.

14. Can you believe I agreed to make 78 of these questions?

Do I care?

15. Lets say I'm the root of all evil (ok so I kind of am any way) how you gonna punish me (not that way you sick bastard)? how did I end up as a sick bastard? umm oh the question...

The verdict: guilty. The sentence: death. *ZAP* Consider yourself Judged. *Steps fastidiously over the corpse.*

16. Personally I think most organised sports are a load of shit, especially sissy sports like grid iron, you need a national sport, what is it?

Tossup between mini golf, and/or martial arts. Pick the one you like best.

17. What country if you had to choose one would you wipe off the face of the earth?

That makes no sense. If I'm the ruler of the world, why would I vaporize a chunk of my own real-estate?

18. All important people have a coat of arms, whats on yours?

Double keys across a sword-ended heart.

19. Is your b'day gonna be a holiday with parades and stuff or do you want to be a party pooper?

*Singing* If we had a holiday, it would be so nice! *Bounce bounce* FREE CAKE for the masses. Antoinette had the right idea, however, she lacked the budget which I will have, owing to my swift dispatch of the national deficit. Which will be mostly due to our use of trash-based synthesized oil (I'm not making this up, it's a REAL and viable alternative that is currently being explored, and will be wholeheartedly embraced by my regime. Or else).

20. For your ammusement name the top 5 people/bands/groups you'll have entertain you?
Michael Jackson (every circus needs a freak), Splashdown, the Vengaboys (whee they're fun), and BT and Sasha shall duke it out on the turntables.

21. Will you sleep with me, hey I've got to climb the coporate ladder some how?

*Chants* Everybody, get in line! >^D

22. Do you regret sleeping me?

Depends on how ugly you are, and whether I have to kill you afterward.

23. Do you regret me giving you the image of me and you having sex?

See above.

24. Am I now on your list of people you'd like to execute?

I can't tell you, "lover", it would ruin the surprise >^D

25. You get to have a special elite force to carry out your bidding, who's it gonna be?

The Nomads. And under my leadership, they won't suck.

26. Everyone needs a motto or something, even the americans have one, albeit a crap one, whats yours?

"Dum vivius, viviamus." (While we live, let us LIVE. --As in, party hearty.)

27. Nuclear weapons, can wipe out an entire city with one direct hit, also a the best fire works ever, why not kill two birds with one stone, nuke a city and put on a fireworks display, where is it gonna be held?

The fireworks? Somewhere wide open with a lotta sky, bet Nyohah knows a few places like that. The nuking will be launched from Tench's secret base and damned if I'm telling you where that is.

28. Lets squadour your peoples money on something, anything what will it be?

Single-handedly recreating the 1980's in a microcosm.

29. Will your people love you, hate you, fear you, or just not really care at all?

They will love me, or they will suffer.

30. The world is kind of over populated, are you gonna put up with this or thin the ranks a bit?

Okay, France, time to die.

31. Do you tolerate anyone else being popular or do you have a hollywood sized ego and make sure you're never upstaged?

You cannot upstage me. Go ahead and try.

32. Democracy do we really need it?

Hell no. Shut up, peasant. You bore me.

33. Are you a dog or cat person, or do you hate them both?

Love them both, actually. I despise horses, though.

34. If you're a cat person, do you know you bite? a cat bit me once...

I don't just bite, I nibble. Very hard.

35. Seriously now, do you like me?

Give me a billion dollars and ask me that question again.

36. The planet Earth is kind of a boring name, give it a new one?

Tossup between Wraith, Farhaven, and Avalon.

37. Are you dissillusioned that I promissed 78 questions but on gave you 37?

It was fun while it lasted. *Sigh*.

Without Further Ado

In A Few Words

Happy Birthday, Foxie.

TTFN, peepz ^_^

Singsong

Pain In The

First: a moment of respectful silence for Silver Coast.

=============================================

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Next: Fangs' theme? Y'know it.

The F Word BabyBird

I wanna get high
I wanna get low

Wanna get low
Wanna get high
Booze in the bottle like clouds in the sky
Sticks to the sides
Sticks to your lips
Wanna get the spiders off my hips
Try and make out when you don't get kissed
Wanna get it up but you broke your wrist
Dad's got your arms
And mother's got your fists
(Crossing all the kids off the Christmas list)

Well the F word's here
And the F word's bad
Curse my mother
And curse my dad
But I love my mother
And I love my dad
Wanna have all that they never had
(Repeat once)

La la la la
La na na la la la

Wanna get high
Wanna get low
Girl's got the bottle and she won't let go
So you grow up fast
And you can't slow down
Make another kid with a bag for a crown
Mother's in the car
Dad's in the door
Love's a rotten applehead bitten to the core
Burnt-out eyes
The sockets are raw
Tryin' to close the gap but you wonder what for

(Refrain twice)

I wanna get high
I wanna get low

(Refrain twice)

La la la la
La na na la la la

Dunno. She's one of those characters floating out there in Original Land, never of much use to me, but a comfort nonetheless.

As for the music?

If titles like Jesus is My Girlfriend dismay you, this artist is not gonna be your thing.

I was kind of bouncing in place singing First Man on the Sun yesterday, set to this bouncy, swingy lounge song. So I'm happily belting out the part that goes

Stuck a fork in my leg
Trying to remember your name
Hid my trousers as they slowly bled

You wouldn't believe the looks I got. Half the volunteer staff (and most of the supermarket, since I couldn't get the damn thing out of my head) blinked at me with wide eyes.

You'd think I grew another head or something.

I mean, this is mid-tempo, pop-style stuff. I never claimed to be some kind of shock-jockey; I could care less. But people hop back as if goosed.

I never got a reaction before. Interesting.

Yeah, yeah, everyone's heard of them, and geez, Jheti, where have you been? Living under a rock for six years?

(Well, actually I've been living on a little dangle of overpriced Disney-sodden swampland for about eight years now, thanks...)

I get sick of that, too. The way everybody holds up an indy band and goes "ooh, look at me, I'm counterculture! And I got here first, which means I am the Sole Authority on this band and you must all bow to my utmost coolness and wisdom!"

Umm, I just like the songs...

And they've done a bunch of stuff I think is crap, too. BabyBird's a hit-and-miss outfit. When they hit it, it hits, and when they miss, it's painful. Like dentist-drill painful.

The way I understand it, it's two dudes plus Stephen Jones, and sometimes just Stephen Jones, and sometimes Stephen Jones and one dude.

And the only reason I'm even telling you this is because (earrghh, grammar!) my life is basically boring as shit. And I mean that in a loving way, but it really is just BORING. "Bo-rrrrinnnggg", as the kids used to say, rolling their eyes and snapping the gum that they weren't supposed to have in class.

My big day yesterday consisted of watching some godawful 70's disaster movie with Sophia Loren. That and sleeping for ten hours. *Waves tiny flag* Whoopee.

Oh and, uh, Madonna? Get off the stage before Britney Spears carries you off, sweetie.

That'd be it on this front. See you 'round. :^)